


do you feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself and I?

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 20:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12895665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Stan comes to Tweek for relationship advice before asking out his best friend.





	do you feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself and I?

Three fourths of the most infamous circle of friends in South Park stood with cigarettes pinched between their fingers, and Kyle Broflovski glared at them from a few feet away. 

“I really wish you guys would get rid of those things.” He hissed, squeezing a basketball to his chest. 

“And I wish you’d get off your moral high ground, Kyle! But we can’t always get what we want.” Cartman replied with a smirk. 

“We came to the basketball court to play, you idiots!” Kyle reminded them. “Not so I could watch all of you inhale yourselves one day closer to death!” 

“Shut up, Kyle!” 

“No one’s gonna visit you when you’re in the hospital dying of lung cancer, fatass!” 

Kenny laughed, showing all of his teeth. 

“Aw, Kyle. We’ll put them out if it bothers you that much, right guys?” 

Kyle gave them all his most pitiful look, hoping for some sympathy points. 

Stan and Cartman pretended to consider their options for a second before pulling the cigarettes away from their mouths and looking apologetic. Kyle gave them a suspicious look, raising an eyebrow. 

“Really?” 

“Kyle!” Kenny said, hurt. “We promise! You don’t have to stay so far back, dude.” 

Kyle sighed, but pushed away his reservations in favor of moving closer to his friends. Unfortunately for him, he failed to notice Kenny’s impish smirk or Stan’s stifled laughter. 

As Kyle moved to lean against the wall, all three of his friends grinned at each other wickedly before blowing smoke into his face. 

“Ugh!” Kyle exclaimed, rushing to move away again and covering his face. “You’re all a bunch of fucking snakes!” 

“Don’t be mad, Kyle!” Kenny said after he was finished cackling. “Being dicks to each other is how we show our love.” 

Kyle made a face at him. 

“Then we must love each other a hell of a lot.” He said dryly. 

At that, Stan his a smile behind his hand. Kyle was joking, but he wasn’t totally wrong. No one stayed friends for 17 years without there being a whole lot of something between them. 

“Will you grow up already?” A familiar voice piped up from nearby. “You’re being especially bitchy today.” 

It was Tweek Tweak, his voice strained with frustration as he and his boyfriend cut through a line of bushes. 

“Ooh. Trouble in paradise.” Kenny commented, using a hand to gesture to where he and Craig were rounding the corner. 

They were very clearly bickering about something, and the boys watched as Tweek untangled their fingers in order to gesticulate with both his hands. 

“Oh shit! Did you see that?” Kenny whispered. “What a fucking power move!” 

“If they break up I’m going to fucking kill myself.” Cartman deadpanned with his mouth still full of chips. “Their love is what’s keeping this town together.” 

Kyle looked incredulous, opening his mouth to say something before being cut off. 

“Hey, Tweek!” Stan called. 

His friends all turned to look at him, surprised. 

“I’ve got to go talk to Tweek about something, okay? I’ll be right back.” 

Kyle groaned, catapulting the basketball in Cartman’s direction as if to properly demonstrate his anger. Cartman grunted, spitting insults. 

“How are we supposed to play two on two with four people, Stan?” Kyle shouted. “The sun’s going down in an hour! And besides, what could you possibly need to talk with Tweek about?” 

Stan chuckled at his dramatism before turning on his heel, giving his friends a brief wave.

“This’ll only take a second, Kyle. I promise.” He said over his shoulder. 

Tweek and Craig were both looking at him expectantly, and the latter had a signature annoyed glint in his eyes. 

He stepped forward, standing in between Stan and Tweek. 

“You have to get rid of that.” He said, staring pointedly at the cigarette Stan was still holding. “Tweek has asthma.” 

Tweek rolled his eyes, pulling Craig by the arm and away from Stan. 

“I can take care of myself, thanks.” He told his boyfriend irritatedly before addressing Stan. “But, yeah. Could you put that out please?” 

Stan was taken aback by the request but obliged, flicking the cigarette with his ring finger and tossing the butt to the ground. 

“Uh, sorry.” He muttered. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Tweek assured him. “Did you need something?” 

Stan looked at Craig warily. Tweek was a pretty cool guy for the most part, but his boyfriend was another story. If you weren’t Tweek or one of his ‘guys’, you were pretty much out of luck. 

“I just wanted to talk to you.” He said to Tweek, turning away from Craig and hoping they both got the hint. “Alone.” 

“Oh!” Tweek exclaimed, surprised. “Okay. Craig, you can go ahead to your house. I’ll catch up.” 

Craig looked disheartened, glancing around for an excuse to ask his boyfriend to come with him. When he didn’t find one he huffed, seeming frustrated. 

“Fine, see if I care.” He grumbled before walking off. “Just don’t let this asshole and his friends take you to Peru. Or space.”

Tweek watched him go for a moment before smiling at Stan apologetically and addressing his boyfriend again. 

“Craig?” He called. 

Craig stopped but didn’t turn around, stiff in the shoulders and clearly still annoyed. 

“What?” 

“I love you!” Tweek replied in the sweetest, most sincere voice Stan had ever heard. 

He watched as the tension in Craig’s muscles relaxed and he exhaled deeply, turning back around to walk toward them. Tweek had a pleased, knowing look on his face and Craig ducked down to kiss him on the forehead. 

“I love you too. I’ll see you later, okay?” 

“Okay. And by the way, babe,” He said, “ you know I’d never go to space without you.” 

Craig smiled and kissed him again, this time on the bridge of his nose. Tweek watched his retreating figure fondly as Stan rolled his eyes. 

“He seriously still talks about Peru?” He asked. “That was like...seven years ago.” 

Tweek looked amused. 

“I guess it was kind of traumatic for him, Stan. He told me there were blue sparks shooting from his eyes?” 

Stan shook his head, dismissing the conversation. He heard enough about Peru from Craig. 

“Listen, dude.” He said. “I don’t want to keep you from hanging out with your boyfriend.” 

Tweek shrugged. 

“It’s fine. He’s being kind of annoying today anyway, so it’s whatever.” 

Stan didn’t really feel like discussing Tweek and Craig’s relationship problems, but it seemed rude somehow not to inquire about them when he’d brought it up. 

“Oh yeah?” He prompted awkwardly. “Are you guys...okay?” 

Tweek looked startled. 

“What? Yes! We’re fine. He’s just been really clingy lately, I guess, and we haven’t had that much time for each other between the coffee shop and all my AP classes.” 

He paused for a second, looking thoughtful. 

“Huh. I guess it’s just me who hasn’t had time lately.” 

He frowned and Stan smiled sympathetically, cocking his head. 

“But you guys are okay, right? You aren’t gonna break up?” 

Tweek froze, gaping at him, before scoffing derisively. 

“Are you kidding? Of course we aren’t gonna break up! It’s me and Craig, dude. We’re in it for the long haul.” 

Stan felt a pang of envy, but ignored it. 

“We got into one argument and you thought we were gonna break up?” Tweek asked disbelievingly. “Is that a straight people thing?” 

“Bisexual.” Stan corrected him. 

Tweek nodded. Stan had been pretty obvious about his crush on that Mormon kid when he transferred back to South Park freshman year. 

“Sorry, I forgot.” Tweek said. “So anyway, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” 

Stan sighed. He’d spent the last week mustering the courage to talk about this, and now he was on the verge of chickening out. He took a deep breath, forcing the words out of his mouth. 

“So, you know Kyle?” He started. 

Tweek looked at him blankly. 

“What? The kid who gets into a minimum three screaming matches a day and once tried to burn down the school? Huh. I guess I’ve never noticed him.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Stan said with a hint of irritation in his voice. “Very funny.” 

Tweek laughed, gesturing for them to move to a nearby bench. 

“Did you seriously ask me if I know I guy I’ve gone to school with since preschool?” Tweek said teasingly. “You must be nervous.” 

As he said it he seemed to be struck with a realization and he gasped, gripping onto the sleeve of Stan’s jacket. 

“Wait!” He cried. “Do you like Kyle?” 

Stan felt himself turn red and he glared, wishing Tweek knew how to keep his voice down. Luckily, he could hear the sound of Kyle and Cartman arguing from the basketball court and there was no way either of them could hear anything else while engaged in one of their world famous debates. 

“Be quiet!” Stan hissed. 

“Do you?” 

“Are you gonna make me say it?”

Tweek cackled gleefully, leaning his head back and clapping his hands together. 

“You totally like him!” He said. “That’s so sweet! You’ve been best friends since forever and now you’re in love!” 

Stan groaned, wishing he could pull his winter hat over his face right about now. 

“I can’t say I understand where you’re coming from, though.” Tweek continued. “Kyle’s completely obnoxious.” 

Hm. Stan couldn’t really argue with that. 

“He’s definitely...loud. And, uh, argumentative.” 

“Argumentative? That’s the understatement of the year! He’s been fighting with Cartman since they could form sentences! As though anything he could say would ever make a difference.” 

Stan frowned, feeling a surge of protectiveness. Kyle wasn’t just some crush, after all, he was his best friend. 

“He’s just passionate!” He insisted. “And dedicated. Sometimes I wish I could be more like that.” 

“All I’m saying is that he should learn to pick his battles. But nevermind all that. Why did you need to talk to me? Are you going to ask him out?” 

“....I think so? Yes. I’m planning on it. Kenny is convinced he feels she same way, and we’ve been flirting a lot lately. At least I think it’s flirting. He told me I had pretty eyes yesterday.” 

“Okay, yes. Definitely flirting. But why did you come to me? Token gives much better advice then I do.” 

“Well....”

Stan struggled to articulate what he needed to ask without sounding rude. That was another thing that Kyle was and he wasn’t: eloquent. Kyle could run linguistic circles around anyone they knew. 

“You’re....” Stan started. 

He searched for the right word. ‘Crazy’ was definitely not PC. Troubled? Unstable? 

“...mentally ill, right?” 

Tweek’s face shifted into a smirk. 

“No idea what you’re talking about.” He drawled sarcastically. “Me? Anything less than completely sane? That seems highly uncharacteristic, Stan.” 

“Will you give me a break with the sarcasm?” Stan asked with a frustrated sigh. “Your boyfriend is really rubbing off on you.” 

Tweek snickered into the palm of his hand. 

“Right. Sorry. Yes, I’m mentally ill. Obviously. But I’ve been better lately, haven’t I?”

He looked hopeful, or something. Stan couldn’t be sure. 

He thought back to his encounters with Tweek in recent memory. Admittedly there weren’t many, but from what he could recall he had been better. Not so many outbursts, not as much hair pulling. He’d been...calmer. 

“I guess you have, yeah.” He replied. “When were kids, you used to be so jumpy.” 

“Being force fed methamphetamines will do that to a guy.” Tweek said with a humorless chuckle. 

Stan cringed at the blunt nature of his words. He’d completely forgotten about all that. The coffee, the drug bust, CPS swooping in and handling the situation. 

“But are you all better now?” Stan wondered. “Now that the meth is gone are you just...functioning normally again?” 

Tweek shook his head, the ghost of a smile still on his face. 

“Nah. It’s hard to tell where everything came from anymore, you know? Whether it’s the drugs, or the parenting, or just my brain chemistry. So I don’t know exactly why, but I’ve still got my fair share of issues.” 

Stan grimaced. God, and sometimes he thought he had it bad with his dad’s alcohol habit. Tweek has grown up in a fucking house of horrors. 

“But hey,” Tweek continued, “it’s South Park. I think normal people get thrown out at the door.” 

Stan laughed, starting to forget why he and his friends didn’t spend more time with Tweek. Spaz or not, he was pretty cool to talk to. 

“Why are you asking?” Tweek said after a moment. “Because somehow I get the feeling that you aren’t just worried about my mental health.” 

Stan felt a stirring in his gut. Jesus, Tweek really had a way of picking apart people’s ulterior motives. Maybe you got used to that after living with his parents your whole life. 

“Okay. So. How does your anxiety affect your relationship? Because, you know, I...kind of have the same problem.” 

Tweek nodded. He didn’t seem phased. 

“You aren’t surprised?” 

“We have the same therapist, Stan, remember?”

“What?” 

“Amber? I saw you in her waiting room like three months ago. You said hi to me.” 

Stan scrunched his nose up, trying to remember. Didn’t ring a bell. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Stan. I’m positive. Besides, you used to throw up on Wendy every time she even looked at you. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to guess that you have some problems with anxiety.” 

Stan laughed, feeling the nerves in his stomach start to dissipate. 

“And depression too, right? Kenny mentioned something about that one time. And there was week when you missed school to stay in bed and Cartman told everyone you were gonna kill yourself.” 

The nervous feeling came back full force. Stan hasn’t realized his mental health was such common knowledge. The whole idea of it always made him feel painfully vulnerable. 

“Right. There was...that.”

Tweek reached out, setting a hand on his shoulder and smiling sympathetically. 

“We all of bad days, Stan. It’s not a big deal.” 

“Right. But I kind of came over here to ask you...how much do your bad days affect your relationship? I mean, I can’t drag Kyle into something destined for disaster.”

“Why would a relationship with you be a disaster? You’re actually a pretty cool guy, you know, your reputation aside.”

“A cool guy? I’m awful to be around! I’m negative, I’m cynical. I barely have the energy to care about anything!” 

Tweek shook his head and held his hands up, taken aback by the sudden burst of emotion. 

“Woah. You know Kyle is your best friend, right? You know he’s been your best friend for as long as anyone can remember? He loves you. No one goes into a relationship perfect, right? If there are problems, you can work them out together.” 

Stan felt a smile begin to appear on his face as Tweek spoke. Being in the same relationship for seven years really gave a guy some insight, apparently. 

“I guess you’re right. Thanks, Tweek. I should probably be getting back to my friends now.” 

“Cool. Craig has probably filed for full custody of Stripe by now anyway. Let me know how things go with Kyle, alright?” 

Stan nodded, standing up with a final clap to Tweek’s shoulder. 

“Of course, dude. Wish me luck.”

He began walking back to where he could still hear his friends screaming at each other, and grinned as he heard the familiar high pitch of Kyle’s voice. 

“Kyle!” He called. “Are you ready for some two on two?”


End file.
